Words to Stop Using to Make America Great Again

It’s been a while since I’ve published an old-fashioned blog post. This one’s just for you, loyal reader, who is still here after my long silences. I will not shop it to another site. I will not try to make some universal point about love, kids, relationships, etc. I simply ask that you take a moment and reflect on your own word choices and to then choose wisely going forward.

There is alot of talk these days about making America great again. Two angry men and a disliked lady have their ideas. We sit back and complain about them all. We throw stones, blame the media and talk to our friends about how gloomy the future looks. We feel helpless.

Cheer up, tired Americans. There is something you can do! It may not get you out of debt, get you lower taxes (and also more services), or put food on your table. But we’ve got to start somewhere. By banning these words from social media, The Huffington Post and your everyday lexicon, I think we could start paving the way to a better America (like our very own publicly funded attempt to improve our crumbling infrastructure).

  1. Epic: It used to mean “heroic or grand in scale or character.” Now it means “don’t click on that headline. You will be disappointed.” What you’re about to read is not Jennifer Lawrence’s epic takedown of Donald Trump. It’s just an overhyped actress saying what everyone else is saying about a lunatic running for President.
  2. Foodie: Some people have a deep appreciation for food. Many people love to cook. And I get that food has become elevated to celebrity status. But the term foodie, I feel, connotes a false sense of status, or panache. If you are really a lover of food, really go for it and call yourself a gourmand. That is posh.
  3. Fierce: It’s a fine word that’s unfortunately tangoed too many times with Beyonce. (Similar to my issue with epic: overuse has rendered it somewhat fierce-less.)
  4. Awesomesauce: Most commonly associated with women wearing mom-jeans, driving a minivan, blasting Cyndi Lauper, but trying to talk to the kids about that Kanye (which she pronounces Kane). Don’t be that woman.
  5. Introvert: Maybe because I fancy myself a writer of essays, I read a disproportionate amount of them. But it seems I can’t get through a day without hearing about life as an introvert. (We’re not just shy. We need to recharge with alone time. We can succeed in an extroverts’ world.) But, as with all good and popular ideas, we Americans love to beat it and twist it and take it to the x-treme. “Sorry I didn’t call you back/get out to vote/issue you a common courtesy such as ‘thank you’. I’m an introvert.”
  6. Kiddo(s): Okay, this one is all me. It’s my own issue but this is my list so I’m keeping it. Is America really going to get better if I don’t have to hear about your kiddo’s epic meltdown? Probably not. (Because you’re still using epic!!!) I just don’t like the word kiddos. It feels like something people who abuse exclamation points would say. And that’s not you!  
  7. Sexy (say, when describing your company’s latest marketing campaign): Other people can be sexy. Lingerie can be sexy. I’ll even grant you something like a car (maybe). But that’s it. There is an abundance of better, more appropriate adjectives to describe everything else in the world.

Also: Stop writing “yeah” when you mean “yay.”

(Also, to my sister who I’m pretty sure often uses “kiddos”: it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. But you were the cheerleader!!! Classic exclamation point abusers. Just sayin’.)

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