New Year, New You!

I’ve reached a tipping point. I don’t want to be a hater. And yet, I find myself drawn to these – maybe irrational – rants about things that are popular.  I could barely stand to look at one more Elf on the Shelf picture by December 25. I don’t want to see pictures of your dinners. (When did that even start to become a thing?) And so help me if I have to hear about how cold/hot/rainy/snowy it is where you are. And since most of what I’m ranting about is a result of my addictive frenemy Facebook, I’ve been considering taking a hiatus. (But then, how would anyone know to read my award winning** thoughts here? Or what I should be ranting about?) I’m not trying to be an indie-hipster, mocking all of pop-culture but really, can we stop with the excessive hashtag-ing now? #notfunnyanymore I’m tipping ever so gently towards ranting against anything getting too trendy.

Today, I’m annoyed by all the talk of resolutions and new beginnings that the new year brings. Mainly because, where are you people in July? Where are the motivational (read: guilt inducing) articles and ads and status updates in July when I’ve forgotten exactly how this was the year I was going to become a better person/get in shape/eat better/____ more/______ less?  By September, I don’t even remember what my resolutions were. I know, all you super-organized, inspirational types, write them down. You include action steps with measurable check in points. Don’t you?

Aside from the month of January and maybe February, does anyone really think about their resolutions? I’m pretty sure I could find all sorts of statistics that show just how many gym memberships become inactive by April, so I write with the assumption that most people are like me.

The thing is, I actually like the idea of taking time to reflect and think about how you might change. But in the form of A New Year’s Resolution, it just feels a little…useless. Change is hard and life gets in the way and by the following December when people start asking about your upcoming resolutions you think about your unfilled old ones and end up feeling like a loser who accomplished nothing and drown your sorrows in champagne and hope that somehow this year will be different. Ok, maybe nothing that dramatic but I inevitably have a “oh yeah, I was supposed to stop biting my nails” moment? (Maybe my real problem is I make trivial resolutions.)

So I say, we collectively agree to have a couple of other days/weeks/months throughout the year where we flood the internet with guilt inducing motivational articles and ads and status updates about the progress we are making on our resolutions. Like, sometime in March. Sure, there would be no catchy headlines like, “new year, new you” (wink wink) but wouldn’t the longest, grumpiest month of the year be a great time to re-inspire ourselves? (March is the worst, right? I have a March baby and am part Irish, I can say this.) While we’re dutifully filling out our college basketball brackets, we might hear a voice on the TV, “Hey there lazy, self-centered you, aren’t you supposed to be volunteering at a homeless shelter?” And again maybe in August, when people are starting to feel bad about the summer ending, we could hit them with a little, “before you go indulging in that Pumpkin Spice Latte, remember your resolutions!” Just an idea.

So, I will resolve, right here, in writing to do the following:

1. Ask you how your resolutions are coming along, or brag about how well I’m doing on mine, in March and August.
2. Scale back on all the hating, or maybe…
3. Just embrace it and go full-on Andy Rooney.
4. Stop making silly resolutions.

**As most of you know from Facebook, I ended up winning the Expats Blog contest. In the end, I’m not really sure exactly the criteria but it made for a unexpectedly merry Christmas. A true Christmas miracle even.